Operation Just Cause
...for as long as it takes

How the Wall Moved Me
Dennis Johnson

Beginning with this issue of The Moonduster Chronicles there will be articles written by individuals willing to share their impressions and feelings concerning their visit to the Wall or one of the moving walls. Articles/pictures should be submitted to Newsletter

If nothing is submitted, there will be no articles. Should you decide to submit someone else's work, please be sure to include the author's contact information, as permission must be given in order to use it. If it is your own work, permission is assumed.

The form is up to you; Poetry, free verse, anything you care to offer. Moonduster Chronicles reserves the right to edit submittals for spelling, etc., and will not post anything unsuitable for all readers.

So I guess I get to start.  Oh boy!?!

On July 4th, 1993 I went to the Wall in D.C.  I picked a day when I knew it would be crowded.  As my wife and I approached, we began walking slower.  The reluctance was palpable.  It had been over 20    years since my discharge from the Army.  During the previous year I had started looking back to a time better left forgotten.  I thought. But many things in my life were changing.  My youngest son was talking about enlisting; I was becoming a regular visitor at the Dallas Veterans Administration Medical Center's surgery wing. (Maybe 'visitor' is too user friendly; let's try 'reluctant participant'. I had no idea someone could be more than 100% service connected!)

So there I was, looking at something that represented death, loss, and guilt, but also pride, honor, and brotherhood.  I looked for names I didn't want to see.  And found some I prayed weren't there.  The sky was clear; the day was hot, and I was surrounded by memories I had struggled to avoid for a couple of decades.  Then I got to the far end of the Wall and a man in a sailor's uniform and wheelchair came up to me and welcomed me home.  And the tears just wouldn't wait any longer.

I'll never forget that day as long as I live.  Or that first "Welcome Home".  My life isn't the same.  My goals have changed.  I guess you could say I have gotten my priorities in order.  I don't know what I     expected of that visit.  I didn't get 'closure'; there was no sudden end to the flashbacks.  But it was a major milestone.

The biggest stumbling block was the guilt.  Because I left men behind. It is amazing how many guys extended their tours or did multiple tours in a place they hated.  Because when your tour was over, you walked away from the war but also from friends who might die because you left.

So I started doing volunteer work at the VA.  A place I hated.  Maybe that would help?  Not enough.  I kept looking for 'something'.

I got on the 'net and started looking around.  One day, I did a search on 'POW' and 'MIA' and found Operation Just Cause.  The next major milestone.  Home.  I'm back with people who care about what is important; honor, patriotism, dedication.  I believe OJC can make a real difference.  Both to the effort of getting our heroes home, and offering guys like me a place to heal.  Because it is that 'something' I was looking for.

There will be another visit to the Wall.  This time it will be late at night when it's quiet and I can spend time with some of the greatest men I have ever known.  I won't be reluctant.  We have a lot to catch up on.
 

Note: In December, I wrote something about that first visit.  If interested, click Here

Click on POW/MIA graphic to return to the January 1999 issue