Sent in by Doc
Subject: Veteran's Mailing List
To: All Retired Military Personnel
Subject: OFFICIAL COMMAND VISIT
Date: Thursday, December 10, 1998 12:55 PM
1. This office has been informed of an official visit by General Santa (NMI) Claus to this base on 25 December 1998. The following directives will govern activities of personnel during this visit:
a. No creatures will stir without official permission. This will include all native mice. Special stirring permits for necessary administrative actions will be obtained through the orderly room.
b. Personnel will settle their brains for a long winter nap prior to 2200 hours, 24 December 98. Uniform for nap: pajamas, cotton, light drowsing, with kerchief, general purpose, OD green and/or cap, fatigue with ear flaps. Equipment will be drawn from Arctic Issue prior to 1900 hours. (Blanket authorization letter is in effect.)
c. Personnel will utilize standard ration sugar plums to dance through their heads. This item will be drawn through Inflight Kitchen and may be picked up in the orderly room.
d. Stockings, wool, cushion sole, will be hung by chimneys with care. Necessary safety precautions will be taken to avoid fires caused by carelessly hung stockings. Individual sections will submit stocking hanging plans to CCX/SE NLT 0800 hours, 22 Dec 98. (Point of contact: Capt Kringle)
e. At first sign of clatter from lawn, all personnel will spring from their beds to investigate and evaluate cause. Immediate action will be taken to tear open shutters and throw open window sashes. OPG OI 25-25 "Saint Nick" will be in effect to facilitate shutter tearing and sash throwing. Section chiefs will familiarize all personnel with procedures and are responsible for seeing that no shutters are torn or sashes thrown prior to start of official clatter.
f. CNCO will assign one sleigh, miniature, and eight (8) deer, rein, tiny, for use of General Claus. Volunteers are needed for a driver for said sleigh. Driver must have current roof-top license, be tiny and quick, and be able to shout clearly: "On Dancer, on Dasher, on Prancer and Vixen; up Comet, up Cupid, on Donner and Blitzen."
g. General Claus will enter all sections through chimneys. Sections without chimneys will draw a Chimney Simulator from Link Services for use during ceremonies. Requests must be submitted in triplicate prior to 20 Dec 98.
h. All personnel will be rehearsed in the shouting of "Merry Christmas to all and to all a good night." This shout will be given upon termination of General Claus' visit. Uniformity of shouting is the responsibility of all section chiefs.
EBENEEZER SCROOGE
Colonel, USAF Commander
chk6
bob
Official USAF Santa Claus Tracking Site
website: Bob's Home Page
